So this is the world. The world of never ending talking between friends.
Nice and friendly chatting without aggression without any other thoughts.
Just talk about the focused thing. Take your fantasy on a trip and just talk.
That is how it should be between friends (always). But why isn't it so ?
Why do we come to a point of no return. To the point from where you can't talk about anything more because there isn't anything what you would like to talk.
The same seem to be with relationships (at least I think it is so).
I am not a generic guy. I am not the person from the crowd. But why ? 18 years of trying to be other from the people made me other. I am special in the crowd.
You would see me. But the last days I just want to be part of the crowd.
Why would I do that ? Because it is a pretty lonely place next to the crowd.
And why would I like to be a part of the crowd again ? Because I am not happy being aside. I am not happy... Not happy about myself.
I am not talking about my body or so (of course there are also some things I would like to fix by that) but I am talking about my feelings.
Feelings that I would like to share with someone and it doesn't have to be a girl anymore. I made a choice maybe a promise - that I don't have to hold.
I won't try to find a girl or a hmm soul mate until the song from "MIA" fits to me. "I have been hearth broken for a year and a day".
Cruel but should do for a change "to a normal person". To that person that I didn't want to become, that I always thought it is the bad side of me.
But probably my other side is the bad one (at least I think so now).

This is what the picture that I took today expressed in me - "thank you my colleague, friend, house-mate."

- posted by calmsky @ 10:42 PM